Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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