Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i would punch a child for taco bell
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
