this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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