I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize