in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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