He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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