that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
