I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
is it fun? or sober?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
