I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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