The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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