Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
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I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
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Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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