Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
