At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
