just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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