one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
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just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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