Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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