y did u give ur computer a hand job?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
