Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
