Pappa wants mamma naked
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
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