Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
