U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It's just like the Real World with babies
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize