Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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