I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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