Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
