Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
