I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
