I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
