Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
