Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I believe in your delicious
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
