Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
