He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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