Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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