This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
