This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
