i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize