Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
