They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
