Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Still dying that you shit outside
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
