No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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