my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
