I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
