you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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