I swear god or herbie drove my car home
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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