If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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