you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
