you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
