Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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