well you can't waste a boner
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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