what day is it and did you see me today?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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