the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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