we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
