we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
soo... how was my night?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
