yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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