Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
honey bunches of taint.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
