Me. At least after what I've been through.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Randomize
