I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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