I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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