What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
