At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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