If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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