Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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