So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
