Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Who did Billy Mays play for?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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