You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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