Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize